It can happen in Life, that you hit a certain point where you feel like there is no hope. You feel trapped and there is seemingly no way out of your situation.
Nobody likes to be in a situation like that but it is part of Life. No amount of positive thinking or mumbo-jumbo-spiritual advice can stop life from happening. Life is a constant journey and it is far from being a straight line.
It is rather a constant movement and there are ups and downs. It is easy to feel good and confident when everything is going well, we can easily feel happy about ourselves and our situation.
The tough part is to deal with life when things go bad.
This is what makes or breaks human beings. It is the focal point that separates the weak from the obsolete.
Everyone has to face his demons sooner or later, it is up to you to decide if you face them and fight or if you try to run away.
Fear means nothing more than FACE EVERYTHING AND RISE.
We have the freedom and opportunity to choose how we are going to react to any circumstances in life. In our blog post about being responsible, you can look this topic up as we have already covered it there.
This time we are going to take a look at practical ways to deal with stressful and negative situations. It is a surefire way on how to effectively conquer worry and doubt.
I applied these techniques myself when I was in a pretty hopeless situation. Everything seemed to go against me and I knew that I had to decide: do I fight or do I run away?
I choose to fight. This is not going to defeat me.
It is not about the size of the dog in the fight, it is about the size of the fight in the dog.
I would not let any circumstances win over me. I wouldn’t give in. I would take full responsibility and fight for what is right. You can define a man by the size of the problem that weighs him down, so I had to ask myself: Is this the size of the man I am?
The answer was NO.
So without further a due, I want to present to you these 4 Key Questions that can and will help you out of any situation, no matter how dark it may seem!
Question #1 – What would the person that I truly want to be do in this situation?
Imagine the most awesome version of yourself. Imagine yourself being a freaking’ boss. How would your strongest and most confident person deal with this situation? What would he/she think of the situation and what kind of solutions would he/she come up with?
Deep down in your heart, you already know the answers because we all have this monster which is slumbering in the depths of our hearts.
Don’t forget that once we were hunters and had to fight to survive every single day. Although nowadays in our modern society we are not exposed to these amounts of danger – we still possess this raw force within us.
When we are forced to act we can dig deep into our potential.
So think about how the strongest version of yourself would deal with this problem.
You have survived everything and everyone so far, nothing that ever happened to you could kill you. You took some damage and yes you were hurt in the battles you have fought but still, you are standing strong.
Would this person give in to those circumstances you are facing? The answer is likely no. This person would take on any challenge and beat it, against all odds!
Question #2 – What advice would I give to me if I was my best friend?
Now, this might seem a bit awkward to you but could you imagine talking to yourself and giving yourself advice?
It is not some psychological disorder if you are able to talk to yourself positively.
Sit in a quiet place where no one can disturb you and then first talk openly about what bothers you. Talk about it as if somebody you could truly trust would be listening to you.
Don’t worry if you get in your feelings, this is what you need!
Talk from the depths of your heart and let everything go that is weighing you down – it helps a lot getting rid of any unnecessary baggage. After you’ve done this you’ll probably feel better already.
Maybe you’ll even realize that the problems are not that bad at all?
Then, after you have poured your heart out – give yourself advice. Give the kind of advice you would give somebody you genuinely love.
You are going to tap into your higher being if you do this because we humans are emotional beings.
Motivate yourself and remind yourself of how strong you actually are.
Tell yourself the things you would love to hear from someone that cares about you. Remember that in this very moment it is only you, no one else!
Question #3 – What is God trying to tell me with this?
No matter if you are religious or not, there is a higher power out there and it is working 24/7. You can call it God, Allah, Karma, the Universe or whatever name you like to give it.
But you can’t deny the fact that it exists.
This power is loving and caring. It is not bad and it is never trying to hurt you.
So knowing this, you can ask yourself: what is God trying to tell me right now?
Don’t twist and turn things so that you look like the poor little victim that was overpowered by its circumstances.
There is almost certainly something that you can learn from this situation. God is working in your favor and he wants you to progress.
In Life, it is often the case that we are served certain lessons over and over again until we are able to deal with them.
God only gives us so much weight to carry as we can actually bear. God only puts us in situations he knows we can get out of. He wouldn’t confront us with a task which we could not solve. We get stronger when we surpass our limits.
We get smarter when we surpass what was thought to be possible to this point.
We develop only by overcoming our obstacles.
Question #4 – What can I learn from the situation that is going to bring me forward?
Could you imagine that Life is just a game?
Does that sound ridiculous to you?
Let me show you a point of view that proves that this idea is not that far-fetched.
Now if you ever played any kind of video game in your life (which I assume) then you’ll probably have noticed that the game tends to get harder the more you advance. In most games, you start as a weak nobody and with time you acquire skills and strengths.
You get to know people and the more you progress, the more difficult the quests are which are posed upon you. Sometimes you’ll have to face a “Boss” which is too hard to defeat yet.
You have to go back to training and possibly first have to solve some side quests which do not belong to the main plot. But these side quests will help you in gaining valuable experience points.
Then, when you feel strong enough you can take on that enemy once again. This time you defeat him. But the game does not stop here, you have grown stronger now but your next mission is already waiting for you – and is not going to be any less difficult!
Can you see the similarities?
In our life, it is pretty much the same. We start as weaklings that can’t even walk on their own. We are dependent upon our parents as they feed and care for us. With time, we learn to walk, talk and behave by our own standards. We grow up and one day we are strong enough to support ourselves.
We now no longer need third parties to take care of us. We can now take on our own assignments. Most certainly we will not be able to overcome the obstacles by the first try, but we can get back up and try again.
There is always something to learn from any situation we are facing.
In our example of the video game, it might be the way our current boss is moving so the next time we face him, we know where and when to strike! In real life, it could be a lesson we learn from some bad shit that has happened to us.
So ask yourself: What can I learn from this situation that is going to bring me forward?
There is always something we can take with us. In Martial Arts, there is the saying that “every battle we fight teaches us more about ourselves”. The same applies to our lives.
Life can only be understood backwards but it has to be lived forwards.
So we should never fold under pressure. No matter what situations we have to face in Life, we always have Freedom of Choice. We can choose how we deal with the situation.
Winners embrace failure and fail forwards, Losers try to avoid failures and hardships.
The Master has failed many more times than the student and that’s exactly the reason why he became the master.
Life is not easy but it is simple. It is the simple things in Life that really matter.
When situations are tough, the things we can do to ease our burden are simple – not easy. We should not wish for an easy life but rather for the strength and courage to deal with life when it gets tough.
Don’t be afraid as FEAR stands for FACE EVERYTHING AND RISE.